Day 31 with shameless begging

So here we are, the last day of Blogtoberfest 2010. I must say I have really enjoyed the experience. Some days were challenging, finding something to post about, but it's all good. I have read lots of blogs in the last 31 days, met lots of new and interesting people and also discovered some gorgeous work from others, be it painting, drawing, craft and others.
I am looking forward to next year.

Today I am using the last day as an opportunity to spread the word and also ask for help in making a dream come true. I have posted before about our little man and the condition he has, Congenital Melanocytic Nevus, and what he has been through so far.

The support group here in Australia has been fantastic for him, us and the whole family really. Talking with other parents, asking for help and advice, learning about the latest information, and finding out about doctors and hospitals and care. The support group is small, but fantastic. They are invaluable. As Nevus is quite rare, our group is small, compared to many other charities and organisations that help children and families with medical conditions.
Everyone who helps is a volunteer. Everything is done in peoples spare time.

Every two years the group organises a camp and conference. We call it The Big Bash. The last was held in Sydney in 2008. It was fantastic, for all of us. The children met others with Nevus and talked about their lives. The parents met other parents, and talked about what life is like, doctors, surgery, hospitals, other people staring, how to cope, and lots more.
We parents were part of the conference, meeting doctors in the field and learning about the latest research and information across the world.

While the conference for the parents was happening the children were busy drawing, painting, and being entertained with performers. They had a wonderful time.

The camp/conference is funded entirely by all the Nevus families and donations. We fund raise over the 2 years to make the Big Bash possible.
The next Big Bash will be in Adelaide in January 2011. We are all very excited and looking forward to catching up with friends, and meeting new children and families who have joined us in the last 2 years.

Iam holding a raffle in my corner of the world and it will be drawn November 25th. I am overwhelmed with how generous and wonderful people truly are, donating their time and prizes to our raffle.

As well as the raffle I am sending a call out here for help for donations to the Big Bash 2011.
Every cent donated will go straight to the running of the Big Bash. Every one involved is a volunteer and all give their time so generously.

To donate there are several options. You can visit Nevus Support Australia and donate via cheque, Money Order or Direct Deposit. The lovely Michelle Sibbons started and runs the group. If you are able to donate let her know I sent you.

You can also donate through paypal by clicking on the link on this blog on the top right hand side.

I would also really appreciate it if you could link back to this post, on your blog, to spread the word about our goal to make this happen! You can also click on the button apwool made, on the top left and put it on your blog and link back to this post too. Anything done to help raise for the children is greatly appreciated.

I will post updates about the raffle and also how the fundraising is going.

My Funny Little Man

This boy, pushes me to the edge with every emotion. My heart bursts with love and pride for him at times. And other times I get so frustrated with his screaming and '4 year old ness' I think I might explode.
He is the most energetic, loud and boisterous of all the children, proving that the birth does not have anything to do with personality. Of all my births, his was the most gentle, quiet, and just really beautiful. (Don't get me wrong, it was still bloody hard work!) He is FULL of life and if his life was a TV ad, it would be Pepsi Max, remember those extreme ads?

He is also sensitive to others, loving, and gentle. Even when he is upset at his 2 year old sister, he will screw up his face and say 'Ohh bubby, no no" It is cute to watch.

He makes me laugh so much, and is very animated. Above are just a few of his many faces. He loves the camera, and insists on seeing every single picture taken of him. And when I turn the camera around for him to see, every single time he will laugh and say "Nawwwwwww"

He is a crack up, and when he is not here the house is extra quiet, but we miss him still.

Yesterday was such a day. Hub took him for his check up with his surgeon. As the surgeon expected our little man will need a few more minor surgeries done. The next one will be around his eye and eyebrow. So he is back on the waiting list again. Which is in some ways disturbingly normal to us now. On the list, wait, go in for surgery, home, back in to surgery, recover, second verse same as the first.

It certainly does not get any easier though. Every time is hard, for all of us, us as parents, him going through it, and his siblings too, seeing their brother go through it and for them to be understanding and considerate, something which can be hard for young children.

But we take a few (many) deep breaths and soldier on. Life doesn't slow down. You have to keep moving forward!

After the surgery visit hub and our little man went to Hubs work for the rest of the day. Apparently the son who can run around all day, scream at the top of his lungs and drive us crazy, was an absolute angel. Several people spoiling him with snacks and lollies, and comments on what a gorgeous child he is.

Hub said he was happy drawing and watching movies on the laptop and really well behaved.

I said then our job is done if the kids are only little asshats at home, and a pleasure out in public.

My Quilt Square

I posted last week about the Quilt Square for a wonderful Mama who is welcoming a new baby very soon.

Here it is. I did not have a hoop small enough so I used freehand to embroider. It still turned out great, but the hoop really does help that extra bit.

The Mama has a photo of her and her daughter and when I saw this drawing it made me think of them.

Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and
her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth.

Virginia Di Orio

Blessings, love and strength to you Mama Owlet.

Art by Water on Concrete

The Spring 2010 Collection


This is titled The Baby.



The next two are the same piece, titled 'Fy-a Pow-a' inspired by the movie 'A Night at the Museum 2'

Here is the artist demonstrating with his work

A disclaimer

From yesterday's post, a small disclaimer.

I have nothing against anything organic, be it food, clothing or any other. My issue is with such things being seen as the gold standard of parenting, rather than a complement of parenting itself.

Any more questions, feel free to ask.


In other news I have completed my red square and am both excited about it, and in a silly way, a tad embarrassed. My piece is very novice, but I enjoyed doing it, and am pleased with how it looks.
When the wonderful Mumma has the square I will post a picture.

Mother guilt and Mother pressure

Our world today is so much harder on Mothers but also a lot easier. We have modern conveniences to help our days go smoother. Washing machines, dish washers, clothes dryers, vacuum cleaners, not to mention the myriad of foods we can purchase from the supermarket.

We know more about health and development of our children. We know more about the effect of treating children and others poorly.
Most of us do our best with what we have at the time.

And yet somehow along the way, this is not enough, for some of us. We feel guilty if the kids have McDonalds or Hungry Jacks and feel the need to quickly say how the day before they had home made organic yogurt with fresh made granola followed by apples and strawberries picked from the garden.

Why? Because the pressure is so bloody great amongst Mothers and society. Pressure to give our children the so called best of everything. Happy Mummy, who has the house clean in case visitors pop in, washing all done, children all happy, playing nicely in their organic hand made clothes, snacking on organic food and sipping water that came from the tank outside beside the veggie patch, cause that's best too you know. Let's not get started on the must have 'educational' toys that children just can't live without.

Mothers of my Nana's generation lead quite different lives. In their day if the child ate 3 meals a day, had clothes on their back, shoes on their feet and a roof over their heads that was the best. That was enough.
Of course there would still have been pressures no doubt. But from what I can tell from Mothers of this generation talking to me, it is much greater now. They tell me how Mothers today worry too much, about little things that don't matter.

What happens when Mothers feel the guilt and pressure of being the best mother they can? We crack, we get depressed, feel angry, upset that we are not doing as good as we could. This is magnified too for many mothers who feel isolated.
Never before have we been so close in contact with the world, and yet still alone. The Internet and telephone have others at our finger tips. I love modern technology. How I can blog, email and be in contact with so many others. It can be a farce though. Others giving of themselves only what they want them to know. We can be anyone we want. Any kind of mother we want.

We do this because we want to be seen in good light. That we are doing all these wonderful, honourable things for our families, and have it all together.
I understand this. I myself do it in some ways. Wanting too for others to see the great parts of my life only.
And then I see toys all over the floor, half eaten bread rolls under the table, apple cores behind the couch, wee everywhere but IN the bowl, finger prints all over the windows, milk spilled through the fridge,and a huge pile of washing whispering to me to fold it.
Ah the flipside of reality. Hiding in the shadows, not always seen but there, and we know it.

I think in some ways mothers are scared. I know I am time to time. Scared of being judged. Scared that I am not doing everything I should, or could be doing for my children, and myself too. Scared that my children will be pissed off at me when they are older and angry at all the things I did or didn't do.

A person can make themselves sick with the pressure, worry and guilt. this is not healthy and it needs to stop.
Let go of the guilt, it does not serve you.
Let's get back to basics and focus on what our children and families really need, and not what others tell us we must have, want or be. (I don't believe children will be smarter if they listen to Mozart in utero)

Lets be there for each other, without judgement. A chat on the phone, a catchup at the park, babysitting children, passing on clothes, being honest, and most importantly in my opinion, validating each other and the perils we go though as mothers.
That is the crux of it. Feeling validated and listened to by our fellow Mother friends.
Being a Mum today is hard enough. Let's cut ourselves some slack and be there for the highs and the lows.

My name is Clare and some days my children eat cereal for tea, have food stains on their clothes, stay up til midnight and are lucky to have a bath twice a week. My home is lived in and it shows. I am who I am and that is good enough.

Growing Up

I knew the time was coming. I have been watching it with other children for a few years now.
The youngest to start that I knew was 3 years old. That's so young I thought.

I don't know why exactly have issues or a problem with it. But I do dammit. It means another step closer to adulthood, and another step away from being a baby, toddler, little.

What is it? It is my older kids asking if they can be like their friends and call Hub and I "Mum and Dad'

I think the reason I have been hesitant is because I think once they older ones start then the littles will follow soon after, and they are just baybeeees!

I'm not ready!
But they are, and so I will take a deep breath and embrace this next stage.
I know it seems like not much to others, but when you have a child pushing teenage hood faster than you would like, everything seems a big step.

Life, always moving forward. Whether we like it or not.