Monday, 20 December 2010


I have not felt this tired in so long. We have packed in so much in the last few weeks. All fun, enjoyable, wonderful things. Ending for me with our baby's first birthday party. Ending for Hub who started a new job the next day after the party.
Yes, I am starting to think we either attract chaos, enjoy it and just keep doing stuff so it never ends, or the universe is having fun with us.

Whatever it is I am ready for a break now. Ah yes, I hear you laugh. It's Christmas in a few days! Ok so I'll have a break after Christmas and New Year. Hmm nup, can't do that either! As we have the Nevus Conference and Camp right after. We are driving there. The estimation is between 10 to 12 hours. Fun! Chaos.

February, how does that sound? Good. Universe, nothing is happening in February, mkay? Sweet.

As I mentioned the 'Baby' turned one. I'm not ready to talk about it. I wil be back later tonight to whinge, sook, whine, bask in the joyfulness of our youngest baby and the First Birthday!

Wednesday, 15 December 2010


I have a Masters Degree in Procrastination. I am so good at it, it scares me at times.
At the moment I am sitting on my arse looking up random crap on the computer.
What I could and should be doing is....

~ Washing, including folding two loads and putting them away.

~ Cleaning the kitchen and dining

~ Sorting out the list of presents that need to be bought

~ Staying away from Book Depository. Fuck I love that store!

~ Clearing all the random crap all over the front and back yards and either tossing them in the bin, cleaning them or putting them where they need to go. Random crap includes, a light sabre, spoons, cups, bowls, bikes, paper planes that have come to a crash landing and are now soggy in the rain, empty plastic water bottles and a sock.

~ Filing all the paperwork I have all over the house.

~ Getting the kids ready for swimming and packing the bag.

~ Writing a list of what we need for the Birthday Party this weekend. I am kind of in denial about this still. If I push it aside it means it's not happening right?

~ Checking to see if the kids have done a half decent job of cleaning out the bus.

Lots for me to do! Yeah, but no, I just can't be bovered.

Book Depository(no this is not a paid post, I just freaking love them) has soooo many books I want. It is a tad embarrassing how long my wish list is.
I am also lusting over some books for the older boys. Next year they are wanting to do more Geography and History. Which is great as I can mix them together and cover several subjects/topics in one day. Sweet!

I am also checking all the things for the Nevus Camp. I am so excited about it for our little man. A Dolphin visit, movies, visit to the zoo and lots of fun activities for kids. We will be taking a LOT of photos!
Amongst all the birthday and Christmas stuff to organise I then have the Camp to get ready, packed and organised for less than 2 weeks later!

I really don't have enough to do. Maybe we should have another baby.

Thursday, 9 December 2010

In a Funk

I am in such a funk at the moment. I am told it is because Mercury is in renegade until the 30th by some people, others tell me I have 6 kids, so um der, others tell me I should put the kids in school then, ha! smile and wave at that one! and others who know me and my ways well tell me to HTFU and start making changes to what I want my life to be.
I wonder if there is something in all of the above. Maybe.

I feel tired within an hour of getting up. I am forgetting to take my vitamin tablet everyday as I am not in my morning routine. The washing is seriously multiplying, clothes basket shenanigans happening at night for sure.

I am stuck in 'I can't be bothered' mode and I want out. We have visitors coming this weekend (yay!) and next weekend we have the BABY'S first birthday and party. Yes, baby. Still a baby to me. Then a week later, Christmas.

I have no choice but to drag my bum out of bed now and get cracking, or it all will not get done.
Writing lists helps me too. Even if I lose the list ten minutes later. Having written things out helps me feel organised.

So, first thing that would be the biggest help is turning off the computer! Yep, it's a hard one, but as Rose Hancock once said "Tough Titties."

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Fat, Husky, Big, Obese, Cuddly, Just More of Me to Love?

So, if you don't know already, I am a lot of the time lazy, and a big procrastinator. I do get motivated to do things that I love and am passionate about.
Mostly I like to do the least amount of work but still deliver a great result. Take the washing for example. I put it all on the line in groups of what goes to what room. So Me, Hub and Bub together, all boys together, and girls together. When it is all dry I fold them and put them in the basket. Then walk inside and it all gets put away. Easy peasy. Least effort, great result!

But back to the topic. Weight is a very popular issue, and has been for a very long time. I assume it will be for the future also.
It seems that no matter what your size, there is always someone there to critique it. It's like being pregnant. I remember with my third child. I was out shopping and had 3 people comment on my size. One said I looked small for 5 months. One said I was huge, and was I sure there wasn't twins, and the other, bless her said wow you look great!

So, like anything, it is all in the eye of the beholder. But what really matters is the person themselves. How they feel about themselves.

There is much debate about our size. Some people say we should focus on being healthy at ever size, some say we should all accept fat, some say we should all have 8 glasses of water a day and exercise for 30 minutes for times a week, some say we should 'think' our fat away, and throw in a shit load more opinions.

Basically, and this it meant to disrespect others, I say it without harshness or rudeness, but I honestly do not give a shit about other people and what size they are. I have enough on my plate to worry about and organise without adding other people and something as petty as their size, into the mix.

I also, am now at a point in my life were the person on the inside is what I care about. 50kgs or 100kgs, I don't care, so long as you are respectful to me, we are sweet. I really mean that.
Once upon a time I was very rude, harsh and judgemental about other people and their body size. I was also quite thing, fit and had not had any children and only myself to worry about.

Since then I have been pregnant 7 times, gained and lost and gained and lost a shit load of weight. My body has changed after every babe. I have also more importantly, learnt a lot of empathy, compassion, understanding, and getting to know people well and all the fantastic things they do and have to offer the world.
Part of learning this was having others judge me when being pregnant, and just after having a baby. True friends could care less about my size, they knew me well and loved me for who I was.
Those who treated me otherwise, well, who knows where they are now!

I do care about size though, when it starts to affect me physically. When my weight is very low or very high my body reacts in the same ways. I can't sleep at night, despite being desperately tired, I am sluggish, I am cranky and snappy too easily, I can hardly walk up 15 stairs, huffing by the time I am at the top, my eyes look dull and my skin looks grey, I also have an overwhelming 'Can't be stuffed' attitude about most things.

Now, it is not size alone that contributes to this. What I eat, or don't eat plays a big part. The connection is pretty easy to make. I don't eat much at all, and when I do it it highly processed, with no nutrition and I everything mentioned above, happens along with a plummeting weight.
On the other hand, when I eat a lot, and a lot of processed, no nutritional foods the weight goes up and up and yup, all those physical changes happen, leaving me feeling miserable.

I know, for my body, if my weight is at either extreme, I start to suffer physically. And I don't care what anyone says about size, this is not good.
My weight only ever goes to either extreme when I am eating shit food, basically, and not moving in the day, at all. And yes, I do categorise foods.
Some people out there so we shouldn't do it. They say we should eat whatever we want when we want.
Well I have done that, several times in my life, and look where I end up every single time?

I love hot and greasy foods, I love chips and chocolate and cola, I love crackers and dip, I love sweets and lollies. iI I eat nothing but this and I start piling on the kilos it ends up the same. Tired, cranky, breathless walking the house to the letterbox, surely everyone would agree this is not good for my body.

What I am doing is eating better. I am choosing to eat more whole foods, and vegetables. I am choosing to add more variety into my meals and yes, I will use the word, I am choosing 'healthier' foods.

Never fear though, I am still enjoying all those foods I love. Just not every day, and not a lot.
I want my children, especially my daughters to see me eating well, and that includes having chocolate, hot chips or coke now and then.

For several months now I have been eating this way, healthier, but not cutting 'bad foods' out. Healthy includes foods we love.
I am sleeping better at night, I am getting up earlier and actually getting out of bed, not laying there wanting to stay in bed all day, I can walk up the stairs in my house and am not puffing before reaching the top, my mood is better and my skin and eyes look better.
What also helps is moving during the day, getting jobs done, walking with the kids. They LOVE going for walks, and being out with their parents.
When I am not well I can't do this. Yet another factor, a very important one, that pushes me to live my life better.

As I said earlier, this size/weight/health/whatever, is about me, about how my size and eating has affected my quality of life. When I was anorexic I was told I looked great. When I am morbidly obese I was told to accept my fat and that I looked great.
Thankfully I am now at a point where I know what makes me look great is not my size or shape, but how I physically feel and how much I am able to enjoy my life. When I feel great on the inside it shows on the outside, no matter my size.