Three

The first time you looked into my eyes. I was saying hello to you and you opened your eyes wider and looked into mine. A moment etched into my memory like it was yesterday.
This photo is so very special to me. Our wonderful Doula took it while Daddy and all your siblings leaned beside us looking at you, so excited to meet you.



Here you are at 6 months wearing a 'royal crown' made by your older siblings. They were having a wonderful time this day making hats and crowns. You, as usual, smiled the whole time.


Sisters. Here you are with your big sister. You can get along like a house on fire, but also can fight like crazy on the odd occasion. You love playing with together making cubbies, dressing up and playing with your babies. The kind of games the older boys are not really into anymore. Although they will amuse you and sit in your cubby made with the table and lots of blankets, which is cute to see.
I do hope so much that you and your sisters will be close as you all grow up together. It is such a special bond.


On your 3rd birthday you wanted to go to the library and the park. So it was! We go to the library every week and you love it. Piling up the books on the seat beside me and handing them one at a time for me to read to you. Some times you will stop half way through and hand me another book.
Only those close to us know the true fire cracker you can be. You are the little mouse that roared. You don't care how big anyone is, if you have a problem with them you let them know!
This can be frustrating, as you can scream, squeal or shout very loud. Not so good when you are sitting right behind me while I am driving.

You love telling people who bought you what. "Daddy bought this for me" "Mummy bought tis for me" and at times "I bought this for me" to which I will act surprised and say "You bought it? wow, did you go to the shops?" and you will say "Yes, I did" and raise your eyebrows as you do. It is so cute. You have such animated expressions, it often makes us laugh. Your eldest brother can never be mad at you as you make him laugh when you are yelling at him. He thinks you are adorable.

Another cute quirk you do at the moment is to say "I can't" I will ask you to pick up something, or put some rubbish in the bin, put your thongies on, shut the sliding door, basically anything you can do. But you will slump your body and pull a face and exclaim "I can't!"
You also throw in a reason at times, such as your legs are broken, or your leg hurts, or that you just can't move.
When you 'can't move' you will put your arms in the air and say "Carry Me" which we all usually do, your older brothers included. They just laugh at you and will pick you up, or give you a piggy back.

You have only been 3 for a few weeks, yet somehow it is like switch has be turned on, ramping up your quirks a bit more. You have been squealing and screaming louder and more often. Crying and being very upset very easily and over such little things, such as someone else walking in the door first. But these are clearly big things to you, so we take a deep breath and try to talk to you, or cuddle you, whatever helps at the time.

You are an absolute joy and we are all so glad to have you in our fun and crazy family.
I'm looking forward to the next year and watching you grow.

12

A lot happens in the first 12 months of a child's life. From snuggled against our chests, to crawling and for some even walking by the 1st birthday. In my opinion you can never take enough photographs, nor have enough cuddles and kisses.

We make a big deal about birthdays in our house. Of course we love and adore our children year round, but we love that we all have a special day, the day we were born and changed the world forever. With several children it also means the other children get excited too, for their own birthdays but also for their siblings, which I love to see. Sneaking into the birthday persons room early in the morning and waking them up by yelling Happy Birthday at them, and of course the obligatory gently jumping on them.
The day is spent as a family, at various places, depending on the weather and where the birthday child would like to go. We also have a special dinner and cake, again what the birthday person wants, within reason of course. For example I love that they have confidence in my level of baking skills, but some of the cakes they want, wow!

The last birthday in our family is our youngest member. You love it when I talk in cliches so I will indulge you again. In so many ways it feels like yesterday, but also feels like she has been here forever.
Her birth was as unique as she is. Proving to me that I did not know it all about labour and birth thank you very much, and that babes can and do turn right before being born.
She was so welcomed and loved the moment she was born.


My precious dark haired, chubba bubba. Locking eyes on eachother for the first time, after knowing eachother for a long time.


One week old with her namesake, my Grandmother. A woman I adore, admire and look up to in so many ways. A woman who raised young children before television, play dates, modern speedy appliances and a washing machine. I love hearing her talk about raising a family, and life 'back then'
I love that when I told her I was having another baby she laughed and said "Oh Clare, you're catching up to me, how wonderful. Are you having this baby at home too? It's so lovely to be at home isn't it?"



6 months old and where she still loves to be, on Mumma's back. I so love baby wearing, and how much easier it makes mothering several children. I especially love it in winter, babe and Mumma keeping eachother warm.


On her 1st Birthday. We took her to an animal sanctuary and she had a wonderful time, we all did. Here she is hamming it up for the camera. It never ceases to amaze me how she knows what a camera is, and how she pulls faces and laughs as soon as I grab it.

We visit our library every week, it is quaint and lovely. The librarians know ua by name and make an effort to get to know all the children. We all enjoy going. On our recent visit I noticed the book 'Hello Baby' on the shelf beside the table. I laughed when the older children pointed it out and thought it was marvelous that our library had it.
As I always do I put Bub down and looked at the Junior section with the older children. When I turned around I saw she had not only climbed up into the chair, but had grabbed the book and had it in front of her. So of course what a great photo opportunity!


I am still totally besotted with this little being. She is so close to walking. Her brothers and sisters all love watching and encouraging her, clapping and laughing with glee as she stands up and takes a few wobbly steps. She will fall on her bum and whack her hand against her forehead and laugh.

She is quite demanding about food now, and wiggles and reaches her hands up beside her seat reminding us to not forget about her. It is so cute having her sit at the table and nibble away on food.

She is growing up so fast, which I love, but also wish she would slow down. I tell her there is no rush, no need to walk and talk in a hurry. She just pokes my eyes or nose and laughs.

Where to Start?!

I know, it has been far too long. 4 weeks is a long time between drinks!

We have been so busy the last month and a bit. Any free days in between have been spent lazing about eating icy-poles or swimming.

I will use dot points as there is just so much that has happened. A few of these deserve their own posts, and I am working on that.

~ Miss I thought she was only a few months old turned ONE! Ugh, I won't bore you with my usual carry on about kids and bloody growing.

~ Hub started a new job the week before Christmas. Yes, we are crazy. We live on the edge and jump at opportunities that may seem nuts, but heck, why not!
Hub is loving his new job and there is a big difference in his mood now. It's always hard leaving a job you are comfy in, but we feel it is also important to enjoy your work, and not forget that emotional health is just as important for well being.
I am so proud of Hub, for his courage and determination to move on and find another job. And still being there for me and the munchkins.

~ Christmas. Can you say crazy?

~ 2nd Christmas. Due to the fact we forgot the presents and really didn't want to drive the hour and a half back home to get them, and the return hour and a half to get back to my parentals.
We decided to have a 2nd Christmas at my bother and sister-in-laws house. It was a brilliant day.

~ Gorgeous babies being born. There really is nothing lovelier than a precious baby. I feel so blessed to have worked with some of the mums with care and breastfeeding help. Even with 6 children there is still much to learn about feeding, and being able to help other mothers. But I am determined, passionate and have a strong desire to help others. I know my beginning journey with feeding would have been so much smoother if I had the help. Then again I may not have become as passionate and fiery as I am now had that journey been any other way.

~ New Years Eve/Day. We went to bed before midnight. Oh my gosh. Yes we did. When, how, did we become old farts? Last I checked other 31 year olds were up late, drinking and having fun.
I always look forward to the new year. Fresh beginnings. There was a big group of people partying and ringing in the new year. We figured we would know it was midnight soon enough. And we did. All the cheering, and laughter and shouting of 'Happy New Year!'
Bring on 2011 I say!

~The Nevus Camp/Conference which was held in Adelaide. We all had a wonderful time. Our little man was so cute and sad when we had to leave. He was so sad that he would miss his 'birthmark buddies'
The children had so much fun together. And the parents had a great time being able to ask each other questions, learn more and be able to relax and chat with other parents who get it.
(This needs a post on it's own. It will be big)

~Starting to get details for our house. I have several contacts and a list of information we need to get started on the first steps of building our 'dream home'.
I am so excited. Sometimes it feels it will never happen, time is dragging. It feels so far away. Like a vision for down the track.
But now we are down the track. And this house is not going to build itself.
There is lots of work to do, and lots of phone calls and meetings, and no doubt fights and tears and whining, but I am excited!

~ The kids activities are have started. Back into it! Swimming, Basketball and this year Archery! Hub will be taking the young Archers as he is keen to give it a try too. Have fun!



Among all that there was visits with friends, birth day parties, family gatherings, packing and unpacking for trips, tired parents and at times cranky kids, but over all we had a wonderful time and are looking forward to finding our rhythm to our home again.
We will have another week or so of 'holiday mode' then get back into it. Well, I have a few syllabus to write and scanning, printing and books to be delivered first. Those things help a little when you have 4 people doing Home Ed this year!

I will do my best to get the other blog posts up ASAP. I now have a LOT of other blogs to catch up on!

Exhausted

I have not felt this tired in so long. We have packed in so much in the last few weeks. All fun, enjoyable, wonderful things. Ending for me with our baby's first birthday party. Ending for Hub who started a new job the next day after the party.
Yes, I am starting to think we either attract chaos, enjoy it and just keep doing stuff so it never ends, or the universe is having fun with us.

Whatever it is I am ready for a break now. Ah yes, I hear you laugh. It's Christmas in a few days! Ok so I'll have a break after Christmas and New Year. Hmm nup, can't do that either! As we have the Nevus Conference and Camp right after. We are driving there. The estimation is between 10 to 12 hours. Fun! Chaos.

February, how does that sound? Good. Universe, nothing is happening in February, mkay? Sweet.

As I mentioned the 'Baby' turned one. I'm not ready to talk about it. I wil be back later tonight to whinge, sook, whine, bask in the joyfulness of our youngest baby and the First Birthday!

Procrastination

I have a Masters Degree in Procrastination. I am so good at it, it scares me at times.
At the moment I am sitting on my arse looking up random crap on the computer.
What I could and should be doing is....

~ Washing, including folding two loads and putting them away.

~ Cleaning the kitchen and dining

~ Sorting out the list of presents that need to be bought

~ Staying away from Book Depository. Fuck I love that store!

~ Clearing all the random crap all over the front and back yards and either tossing them in the bin, cleaning them or putting them where they need to go. Random crap includes, a light sabre, spoons, cups, bowls, bikes, paper planes that have come to a crash landing and are now soggy in the rain, empty plastic water bottles and a sock.

~ Filing all the paperwork I have all over the house.

~ Getting the kids ready for swimming and packing the bag.

~ Writing a list of what we need for the Birthday Party this weekend. I am kind of in denial about this still. If I push it aside it means it's not happening right?

~ Checking to see if the kids have done a half decent job of cleaning out the bus.

Lots for me to do! Yeah, but no, I just can't be bovered.

Book Depository(no this is not a paid post, I just freaking love them) has soooo many books I want. It is a tad embarrassing how long my wish list is.
I am also lusting over some books for the older boys. Next year they are wanting to do more Geography and History. Which is great as I can mix them together and cover several subjects/topics in one day. Sweet!

I am also checking all the things for the Nevus Camp. I am so excited about it for our little man. A Dolphin visit, movies, visit to the zoo and lots of fun activities for kids. We will be taking a LOT of photos!
Amongst all the birthday and Christmas stuff to organise I then have the Camp to get ready, packed and organised for less than 2 weeks later!

I really don't have enough to do. Maybe we should have another baby.

In a Funk

I am in such a funk at the moment. I am told it is because Mercury is in renegade until the 30th by some people, others tell me I have 6 kids, so um der, others tell me I should put the kids in school then, ha! smile and wave at that one! and others who know me and my ways well tell me to HTFU and start making changes to what I want my life to be.
I wonder if there is something in all of the above. Maybe.

I feel tired within an hour of getting up. I am forgetting to take my vitamin tablet everyday as I am not in my morning routine. The washing is seriously multiplying, clothes basket shenanigans happening at night for sure.

I am stuck in 'I can't be bothered' mode and I want out. We have visitors coming this weekend (yay!) and next weekend we have the BABY'S first birthday and party. Yes, baby. Still a baby to me. Then a week later, Christmas.

I have no choice but to drag my bum out of bed now and get cracking, or it all will not get done.
Writing lists helps me too. Even if I lose the list ten minutes later. Having written things out helps me feel organised.

So, first thing that would be the biggest help is turning off the computer! Yep, it's a hard one, but as Rose Hancock once said "Tough Titties."

Fat, Husky, Big, Obese, Cuddly, Just More of Me to Love?

So, if you don't know already, I am a lot of the time lazy, and a big procrastinator. I do get motivated to do things that I love and am passionate about.
Mostly I like to do the least amount of work but still deliver a great result. Take the washing for example. I put it all on the line in groups of what goes to what room. So Me, Hub and Bub together, all boys together, and girls together. When it is all dry I fold them and put them in the basket. Then walk inside and it all gets put away. Easy peasy. Least effort, great result!

But back to the topic. Weight is a very popular issue, and has been for a very long time. I assume it will be for the future also.
It seems that no matter what your size, there is always someone there to critique it. It's like being pregnant. I remember with my third child. I was out shopping and had 3 people comment on my size. One said I looked small for 5 months. One said I was huge, and was I sure there wasn't twins, and the other, bless her said wow you look great!

So, like anything, it is all in the eye of the beholder. But what really matters is the person themselves. How they feel about themselves.

There is much debate about our size. Some people say we should focus on being healthy at ever size, some say we should all accept fat, some say we should all have 8 glasses of water a day and exercise for 30 minutes for times a week, some say we should 'think' our fat away, and throw in a shit load more opinions.

Basically, and this it meant to disrespect others, I say it without harshness or rudeness, but I honestly do not give a shit about other people and what size they are. I have enough on my plate to worry about and organise without adding other people and something as petty as their size, into the mix.

I also, am now at a point in my life were the person on the inside is what I care about. 50kgs or 100kgs, I don't care, so long as you are respectful to me, we are sweet. I really mean that.
Once upon a time I was very rude, harsh and judgemental about other people and their body size. I was also quite thing, fit and had not had any children and only myself to worry about.

Since then I have been pregnant 7 times, gained and lost and gained and lost a shit load of weight. My body has changed after every babe. I have also more importantly, learnt a lot of empathy, compassion, understanding, and getting to know people well and all the fantastic things they do and have to offer the world.
Part of learning this was having others judge me when being pregnant, and just after having a baby. True friends could care less about my size, they knew me well and loved me for who I was.
Those who treated me otherwise, well, who knows where they are now!

I do care about size though, when it starts to affect me physically. When my weight is very low or very high my body reacts in the same ways. I can't sleep at night, despite being desperately tired, I am sluggish, I am cranky and snappy too easily, I can hardly walk up 15 stairs, huffing by the time I am at the top, my eyes look dull and my skin looks grey, I also have an overwhelming 'Can't be stuffed' attitude about most things.

Now, it is not size alone that contributes to this. What I eat, or don't eat plays a big part. The connection is pretty easy to make. I don't eat much at all, and when I do it it highly processed, with no nutrition and I everything mentioned above, happens along with a plummeting weight.
On the other hand, when I eat a lot, and a lot of processed, no nutritional foods the weight goes up and up and yup, all those physical changes happen, leaving me feeling miserable.

I know, for my body, if my weight is at either extreme, I start to suffer physically. And I don't care what anyone says about size, this is not good.
My weight only ever goes to either extreme when I am eating shit food, basically, and not moving in the day, at all. And yes, I do categorise foods.
Some people out there so we shouldn't do it. They say we should eat whatever we want when we want.
Well I have done that, several times in my life, and look where I end up every single time?

I love hot and greasy foods, I love chips and chocolate and cola, I love crackers and dip, I love sweets and lollies. iI I eat nothing but this and I start piling on the kilos it ends up the same. Tired, cranky, breathless walking the house to the letterbox, surely everyone would agree this is not good for my body.

What I am doing is eating better. I am choosing to eat more whole foods, and vegetables. I am choosing to add more variety into my meals and yes, I will use the word, I am choosing 'healthier' foods.

Never fear though, I am still enjoying all those foods I love. Just not every day, and not a lot.
I want my children, especially my daughters to see me eating well, and that includes having chocolate, hot chips or coke now and then.

For several months now I have been eating this way, healthier, but not cutting 'bad foods' out. Healthy includes foods we love.
I am sleeping better at night, I am getting up earlier and actually getting out of bed, not laying there wanting to stay in bed all day, I can walk up the stairs in my house and am not puffing before reaching the top, my mood is better and my skin and eyes look better.
What also helps is moving during the day, getting jobs done, walking with the kids. They LOVE going for walks, and being out with their parents.
When I am not well I can't do this. Yet another factor, a very important one, that pushes me to live my life better.

As I said earlier, this size/weight/health/whatever, is about me, about how my size and eating has affected my quality of life. When I was anorexic I was told I looked great. When I am morbidly obese I was told to accept my fat and that I looked great.
Thankfully I am now at a point where I know what makes me look great is not my size or shape, but how I physically feel and how much I am able to enjoy my life. When I feel great on the inside it shows on the outside, no matter my size.