Friday, 16 September 2011

What word makes people go quiet?

And for most of them they will nod there head, say quietly "Uh ok" and then make up some excuse to leave the room, building, state.

Depression. Most people have NO idea how to deal with the word, let alone how to them talk to someone who is going through it.
Phrases that start with "You just need to...."
"All you need is....."
"A friend of mine had a cousin who had depression and he took up.......... and he snapped right out of it. Maybe you............."

I would like to believe the majority of people say the above out of ignorance, and just not getting it.
Why else would they say "You need to do x, y or z and then it will go away"

If you were to look up Antenatal depression you would not see a picture of me. There is very little information out there for antenatal, loads on postnatal though.
Antenatal is through pregnancy, postnatal is after giving birth.

Nearly everything I have read about antenatal depression does not ring true for me. I did find one article that mentioned feeling blank/numb a lot of the time. This is a tick for me.
It also mentioned feeling tired no matter what time of the day it was and regardless of how well you were eating or taking care of yourself. Another tick for me.
They did all mention feeling teary at times, but then again this is something that happens to most pregnant women at some point. It did not mention the amount of crying though. I assume once in a while would be natural, every day would not. I fell into the every now and then category.

I found in the articles I came across a big emphasis on the first time mother, and also 'surprise' pregnancies.
Clearly I am not a first timer, and I was and still am very excited about our planned baby. This could be why I waited even longer to see my GP. I love feeling the baby move, am very excited about our last family member joining us and am not concerned at all about coping, or how things will be.
I think this is where more information about antenatal depression needs to be put out there. So mothers who already have a child/ren can get information for them too.

I am a strong believer in trying natural remedies first when possible. If 3 months goes by and there is little improvement you know it's time to seek out more professional help.

Which is what I did. I am very fortunate to have a great GP whom I have been seeing my entire life. Apparently when I was 1 years old I was sick and having a tantrum, and he helped calm me down. We have a long history basically, and I trust him, and he knows me very well.
We talked about my past pregnancies, life in general, big things happening at the moment and of course the children. I explained how if anything I am getting through the days because of the children. I get out of bed because of them. They keep me going. They are also actually not a burden like some people say, and certainly not causing how I was feeling.
They really are great kids and a wonderful help.

We spoke about hormones in pregnancy, and how each pregnancy is different. The hormones are not exactly the same each time. Every pregnancy and baby is different, and we need to go by what is happening with this pregnancy. I had noticed how annoyed I felt this pregnancy, in a physical way. It's hard to describe, but sometimes I feel like I want out of my skin. I am just annoyed all over.
I told him how I feel the hormones have wreaked havoc this time.

He talked about how he knows how I feel about medications and that I do prefer to try naturally first. I told him all the things I had been doing over the months. I know I am lucky that he knows a lot about natural ways and agreed with what I was taking to try and help.

Then we moved on to medications. He explained to me the different types and how they work, and what is safe/not safe in pregnancy and breastfeeding.
He gave me a prescription to start the next morning, a low dose. Also to see him in 2 weeks again.

We then chatted about seeing someone to talk to told me about a few women he highly recommends for mothers. So we are in the process of getting to see one of them too.

He said that while he would rather I was not going through what I am, that he is very pleased I came to see him.

So now I am still taking my supplements, along with my prescription. I am glad I am able to keep taking the supplements, as I know how important they are for me to have.

And that is where I am at. A post I have found very hard to write, but feel important to get it down, and press publish before I chicken out!


Anonymous said...

My daughter suffered from prenatal and postnatal depression for her first 2 pregnancies. Mercifully, she didn't for her third. I am glad you are seeing a doctor you have confidence in. Blessings, Glenys

Clare said...

Thank you for your kindness Glenys, and commenting here. I appreciate it.
I have contacted a team of women who specialise in pregnancy, birth and parenting and feel confident they can help along with everything else I am doing.

Hellena Post said...

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, though I've never thought of it as a condition for myself....mind you, I think I did have antenatal depression with my first daughter, and mild doses of it since. I'm always a bit grumpy, less tolerant, and I'm crying a lot this time round too. I've just been putting it down to all the uncertainties around me, but maybe it's something more? I'd be interested in the natural remedies you're using..... And thank you so much for your honesty, and guts, and willingness to face a fear and do it anyway, with a big hearted aim to help others and increase awareness. You're awesome:)

Anonymous said...

So much love to you xox

I admire your honesty and openness and I am sure that although it is hard to post about, that in doing so you will have helped other women.

Nat said...

Love, love, love to you. I have been wondering about you a lot, and wanting to visit, but seem to keep letting life get in the way. It's awesome that you've put this out there... takes real strength to do that, and I hope you can see it in yourself. You rock. Mwah.

Clare said...

Hellena, I am nodding to what you have said. I too have always been a bit grumpy,less tolerant, teary, upset etc in pregnancy. What was different this time was it was getting worse, and more often than I had ever experienced before.
I think that is the key. Knowing our bodies and ourselves so well, that when it is not the norm for us, we know something is wrong.
I have been using, and thankfully with the new medication can continue to take magnesium, vitamin C, Pregnancy multi, Floradix (and usually Spirulina too until I had such an aversion I stopped it.) In pregnancies these are fantastic for me.
Which I attribute to knowing for certain this time I needed more and something was not quite right.

Thank you for commenting. I have been thinking of you and how you are travelling, with the pregnancy along with the travelling :)
Mutual feelings back at you with awesomeness!

Thank you apwool, lots of love back at you! :)

Clare said...

Hi nat, been thinking of you too. Thank you for the love, it does help. We will catch up soon :)