I feel like crap. I feel tired, useless and and that I am letting my family down.
The kids, bless them, don't seem to mind how lacking in energy, and patience I am. They ask me if I am ok and give me hugs.
What is going on? Well those with large families, or who know us well, the first thought is 'Clare's pregnant again'
You would be correct. This pregnancy is very planned and wanted. It is also kicking my arse. I feel like I am on the verge of throwing up all day and all night. It doesn't matter what I eat or drink, the feeling never goes away, and believe me, this is being pregnancy number 8 I really have tried everything over the years. I just have to ride it out, and wait until everything settles down.
I feel tired all the time. This is what is hardest on everyone. While normally I am pretty lazy, I at least can get things done, and will go on rampages washing, cleaning etc.
Not now. Not when pregnant. But, when you already have a few kids, there is no choice but to get things done. There is no help like when you were pregnant with your first or second. People lose interest after a few kids, and their lives get busy too.
Kids need feeding, clean clothes, driven around to swimming, sports, activities etc. There is no stopping.
At the moment we have library every Thursday morning, swimming and basket ball training on Wednesdays, Basket ball training on Thursdays, home school group every second Friday, then swimming lessons on Saturday along with 4 kids playing basketball on Saturdays too.
So, I just suck it up, and do what I can when I can. Waiting for the magic time when I realise it's been a few days since I last felt sick. Bring it on.
Bubs is still feeding too which is adding to the tiredness too. She is 17 months now and while I am a big advocate of child led weaning, to be honest I would welcome her slowing down right now. While I am being honest I am also hoping to not tandem feed again. It is probably the hardest thing I have done parenting wise. I know others have found it wonderful and life was able to carry on wonderfully while tandem feeding.
I am just not one of those women. My 3 year old weaned herself 2 weeks ago and it was VERY much welcomed. Feeding two munchkins while in early stages of pregnancy was bloody hard. I was relieved when she was ready.
This will be our last baby. The end of the line. Our little caboose.
I thought our last baby would be 'it'. To be honest I would tell people it was, but in my head would think 'maybe, not sure actually'
This time I know for sure. I adore babies, they are just lovely. So tiny and perfect and I could just stare at them for ages.
I love all ages actually, all with their ups and downs, laughter and challenges.
I am ready for our next stage of our life. Building our next house, the children spreading their wings as they get older and become more involved with activities and their futures.
Hub and I being able to go away for the night or weekend as the children grow. No little one who depends solely on me.
I always wondered what it felt, to be ready to move on. No more babies. I know I will feel a bit sad, and feel a tug at my heart whenever I see a baby. But this is our number. Lucky 7 who will join us around Christmas time-ish. A lovely way to end 2011.