So often in life we talk and rave on about all the great parts of something.
I find homeschooling to be right up there. It IS great, and fun and fulfilling.
We hear about it often.
But it can also suck so much you are ready to grab the keys and walk out the door. It can be hard. It can be frustrating. It can be just like parenting.
I love my children with all my heart. My biggest lessons in life have been around my children and the joys and challenges they bring.
Today has been a 'I want to run away for a day' day. I am feeling drained, tired and just not wanting to do anything. It was hard enough getting breakfast, washing, snacks, lunch and cleaning up done.
My thoughts wandered to my friends who have kids in school. Friends who have several hours a day 'free' to do whatever their hearts desire. Go to a movie, go to lunch with other friends, have a nanna nap, eat something without having half taken off you by children who throw back the 'We are good shares in our family aren't we Mummy' line. Friends who can clean the whole house in under an hour, and that includes mopping.
I hate this feeling. Deep down I know what we are doing is the best for the children right now. They tell me they like what we do, and don't do, and love their homeschool friends and the activities we all do together.
But, damn it days like this make it so hard. I don't want to do it right now, in this moment, or this day. It's too hard. I want a break. I don't want to be responsible.I don't want to be enthusiastic about another Lego creation, or Ben Ten accessory.
I don't know one homeschooling parent who doesn't have crap days, or moments. They don't hide it though. And why should they, why should we? We all need to be true to ourselves. Let these feelings happen. Show our children we are human and not every day runs smoothly.
It's times like this we reach out to each other. Share what we are feeling and talk with others who have been there, and will again, and who get it. Community is what is so important in times like this. Being able to share anxieties, problems, thoughts, feelings with others who know that we don't want to hear that the answer is sending the kids to school, but we do want to be validated and listened to. Have another say Yup, this sux right now, let it out, we are here for you.
Let me off, just for today.