Tuesday, 27 April 2010

The other side of Homeschooling.

So often in life we talk and rave on about all the great parts of something.
I find homeschooling to be right up there. It IS great, and fun and fulfilling.
We hear about it often.

But it can also suck so much you are ready to grab the keys and walk out the door. It can be hard. It can be frustrating. It can be just like parenting.
I love my children with all my heart. My biggest lessons in life have been around my children and the joys and challenges they bring.

Today has been a 'I want to run away for a day' day. I am feeling drained, tired and just not wanting to do anything. It was hard enough getting breakfast, washing, snacks, lunch and cleaning up done.

My thoughts wandered to my friends who have kids in school. Friends who have several hours a day 'free' to do whatever their hearts desire. Go to a movie, go to lunch with other friends, have a nanna nap, eat something without having half taken off you by children who throw back the 'We are good shares in our family aren't we Mummy' line. Friends who can clean the whole house in under an hour, and that includes mopping.

I hate this feeling. Deep down I know what we are doing is the best for the children right now. They tell me they like what we do, and don't do, and love their homeschool friends and the activities we all do together.

But, damn it days like this make it so hard. I don't want to do it right now, in this moment, or this day. It's too hard. I want a break. I don't want to be responsible.I don't want to be enthusiastic about another Lego creation, or Ben Ten accessory.

I don't know one homeschooling parent who doesn't have crap days, or moments. They don't hide it though. And why should they, why should we? We all need to be true to ourselves. Let these feelings happen. Show our children we are human and not every day runs smoothly.

It's times like this we reach out to each other. Share what we are feeling and talk with others who have been there, and will again, and who get it. Community is what is so important in times like this. Being able to share anxieties, problems, thoughts, feelings with others who know that we don't want to hear that the answer is sending the kids to school, but we do want to be validated and listened to. Have another say Yup, this sux right now, let it out, we are here for you.

Let me off, just for today.

6 comments:

Footprints Diary said...

Hi Hands and Hearts,
I had a day like that today, too - must be the day for it!

My computer monitor died, and my son said that I must have done something to it, that I'm a computer nub and made me feel totally stupid.

I love homeschooling, but sometimes it is so darn hard, and the rewards aren't so visible. Then at other times there are such wonderful times.

Cheer up - know that you aren't the only one who has had a lousy day.

Sending hugs your way,
I am here to listen,
(((Hands and Hearts)))
Love and blessings, Jillian ♥

P.S. Praying that your week will become much better!

loz said...

Aww hun I hope your day got better as evening dawned or as bedtime draws closer ((hugs))

alecat said...

Hi there sweetie. :)
Wish I could give you a hug right now.

I know those moments, and it's human, it happens. Yes, it's happened to me MANY times. Sometimes a long walk or a good cry helps. Other times just phoning a friend and talking. I hope you have someone who can give you a break and support. You can phone me if you need.

:) Lotsaluv. xxxx

Nat said...

Yep, let it out. I love a bit of raw honesty. It's the only thing that helps me remember I'm not alone in my human-ness, and man, I haven't even got to the "real" homeschooling years yet!! Lots of love to you. You are awesome and you sure are doing what's best for your kids.

Nikki said...

Your honestly is wonderful. I want to hear it all!

Hellena Post said...

Have totally felt like this at times, as every parent does, and I also agree that showing our kids all our sides - even the pissed off and frustrated ones - helps them create a well rounded idea of an adult... But I just wanna say, before you get too seduced by the thought of 'time off' if the kids went to school, that it doesn't work that way!!! Maybe you do get some block hours to fill how you wish but at what price? Having to be up and ready at a certain time, preparing uniforms and food, organising the other things that school wants you to do, driving them there, picking them up, squeezing in your activities between societally accepted time frames, working in the extra lessons, organising play overs, being subject to a whole range of more suburban attitudes in the parents you interact with, debriefing your children from all the sundry influences they're subjected to in a day, helping them relax back into themselves - all takes a helluva lot more time than it looks from the outside!! And in my experience anyway, nullifies all the goodness that can be gained from a few hours on your own. Always having to rush somewhere or another and be aware of days and times and public holidays is STRESSFUL!! Far more stressful than the relaxed wake up whenever we wake up and make cuppas and read books and snuggle in bed till the days outings or details are worked out, and the buzz we get when stressed seeming people realise that EVERY day is a holiday for us mob..... Hope this makes you feel even marginally better:)