Friday, 2 March 2012


Some I like, some I don't. The last 6 months have been quite full on. AND, kids wanting to give school a go, new baby, trying to get the planning stage of the new house off the ground. I'm tired just thinking about it.

School has been going for a month now. It's, ummmm, interesting. ok let's just say I am having a much harder time handling it, than the kids. It's hard to let go of something that has been your domain for several years. Let go of being the one to plan and write up the kids syllabus, sit with them, be there through the day to discuss their work.

They are all liking it so far, which is the one thing I am focusing on. It is after all, about them. Damn kids, growing up to be just how you want them to be. Speaking their mind, determined, strong, wanting to give new things a go.

So what we have, is 3 little girls home with their Mumma. Oh what fun that is! No seriously it IS fun, but it is also tiring. I haven't had 3 little ones with me since I had my first 3. Miss 2 is so smitten with her baby sister. She loves her, wants to kiss her, squeeze her, lay on her, share biscuits with her. I have never had to work so hard to protect one of my babes.

I miss the kids a lot during the day. It was busier, louder and more crazy when all 7 were here, but I still miss it.
Life changes whether we want it to or not. I am not ready for so many changes that have happened, and are soon to happen. I have to just hold on and hope for the best at times. Hope that our decisions will turn out ok. Hope that we have the strength to see if something is not working and change or tweak it.

Growing up still sucks, at 32.


Hellena Post said...

Ah baby, you'll handle it all with the love and grace you have such abundance of! Good on you for going with the flow of your kids wanting to go to school....must be full on for you, and I must admit I'm real glad ours still don't want to. Can so relate to having to work hard to protect a baby!! I'm sure the definition of hyper vigilance is mum's with lottsa little babies!! I've got two little darlins who want to love Zarra to pieces, as well as bigger bro Balthazar, which means he's either with me in a closed door room, or being worn :) And you only got 8 years darlin till it all gets real easy and fun again! My thirties were a bit fraught....all these things I thought I knew kinda unravelled and I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me a lot. 40's are awesome! But you're a legend, so I'm sure it will all smooth out soon:) Love your work!!!

Clare said...

Thank you Hellena! It is full on, and to be honest I have had a much harder time than them. They have eased in so wonderfully, quite the social bunnies and going well.
Gotta love the older siblings want to devour the wee babes with such love hey :)
I do understood, in a way, about things unraveling. In the last two years a big shift has happened. A wisdom, a better understanding, and a calmness about things that years ago with drive me crazy. I'm looking forward to that growth, as I grow too :)