Happy Birthday to my heart breaker

Tonight, 4 years ago, my 'waters broke' surprisingly at 38 weeks. A name for our 3rd son had not yet been agreed upon. I thought we had at least 2 weeks, or more to decide.

On this day, Hub was sick. The previous 2 weeks I had napped in the afternoon every day as I grew more tired.
On this day I told Hub to sleep so he could rest and get well.
I cooked a roast for tea. Dished it up but picked at it. I then got the kids in bed and did the dishes.
I could hear the opening music for the TV show 'Medium' the only show I watched every week.
I was so tired. I thought I would sit down, watch Medium then go to bed. Maybe look at more baby names tomorrow.

I walked into the lounge and flopped down, Hub LOVES it how I do this. I both heard and felt a pop.
I ran to the bathroom, just in time.
I smiled, and called out to hub "Are you ready to be a Daddy again?"

Within 4 hours our newest baby, and 3rd son was laying, snuggled up on our lounge room floor. Surrounded by his family. Not long ticked over midnight.
Our first homebirth. I am so glad in many ways our journey lead us to be at home.

I had noticed your birth mark. I wondered if it was bruising. I wasn't worried though. My instincts, and our baby, told me he was ok.
Another hour gone by and we were snuggled up in our bed, having the first feed. Our baby was just like our others. Wanting my warmth, nourishment and not long after a clean nappy.





He spent a lot of his time here, when not on the boob of course.



Such a happy, smiling bubba. Entertained by his older siblings a favourite pastime. (Not much changes with our babies hey?!)

As our little man got older so to did his birthmark. It lightened a little and grew hair. The hair on the Nevus growing about 3 times as fast as the rest of his hair, and was/is thicker and coarser.

On his 3rd Birthday, devouring ice cream cake, with 2 spoons. By this stage one round of tissue expansion and excision completed.

Christmas last year. I love this photo. It was taken by my oldest son, who was painstakingly trying to get a picture of his little brother who kept pulling faces. Just before he clicked this shot he said "Just one with the mouth closed!"

The little cherub raised his eyebrows and said "Hmmmmmmm"

He is so terribly cheeky, in a very cute way. You just cannot be upset with this kid. The smile, the way he looks at you out of the corner of his eye, smirking.

His latest crazy is giving the thumbs up. He does it with everything. It makes me laugh every time.

Tomorrow we go into hospital again. The next round of tissue expansion and excision. I am more nervous this time. More scared. He is 4. Older, wiser, more understanding of how things work. I hate this part. Knowing he will be in pain. Knowing that over the next few months he will go back every week, for injections to fill the expander a little bit each time. That by the end he will have had enough. But that there will be another surgery to remove the expander and also remove another part of the nevus. Another part of him, it will be gone. A part of him that he was born with, that I have touched and nuzzled my cheek against.

I know, it's just skin. But it's him. It's a part of him from before he was born. I won't see him how he is today ever again. With each surgery he changes a little.

The cheekiness and heart remain the same though. My little heart breaker.

Happy Birthday to our sweet boy. Please know I love you with all my heart and have only every done what I thought and felt was best for you. You have taught me so much about myself, and about others. About what is truly important and what doesn't matter.

I asked him today how old he was turning. He said 'Big" and that one day he would be bigger than Mummy and Daddy. I don't doubt it.