Where I'm at

Now that I am up the duff, with child, in the family way, pregnant or my least favourite old fashioned term that makes me shudder 'in confinement' things have changed a little.

I am not walking much, or moving much in general really. I am soooo tired, and nausea is with me all day and all night. Like that friend that just will never leave your side.

When I am pregnant I add in a few extra things to my diet. Spirulina, Floradix and if being more vigilant about drinking water.

The first trimester is a killer for me. Extra tired, very cranky, feeling like I am going to vomit all day and night, my patience is nearly non existent and I just want to bite off everyone's heads, everything is annoying me. I hate feeling this way. It is annoying and drives me bonkers.

Not long until the second trimester and fingers crosses close behind will be me feeling much better, and people will want to be around me again.

I had a strong urge to run away from everything lately. Brisbane was popping up everywhere I look and I started feeling nostalgic again about it. The nicer weather up there in winter is such a draw card. Tee shirts in the middle of winter, sigh. I even looked up houses in the area we used to live just to see how much they were at the moment.
I think it was actually making me feel worse. So last night I cracked open the house design software again and worked more on our house plan. I also looked up house plans, I love looking through them.
On my travels I also found the fire place that is almost exactly how I want ours in our living area.

I felt much better after looking through pictures, plans and making progress on our own house.
I don't know why I have such itchy feet. I lived in the one area for over 20 years and was fine. Yet somehow I get the feeling of wanting to move every year or so.
I spoke with hub more about it and we do have to put the kids first. A place where they can stay for a long time, be with their friends, play in their sports and activities and enjoy being in one place.

This doesn't stop the itchy feet of course! So we will be making sure we have as many trips away as we can, and hopefully in a few years we will be able to get to point where we can spend 2 months of the year somewhere around Aus. Preferably in winter, so we can go somewhere warm.

So that is where I am at. For the moment.

Sunday Salutations and Sickness

I feel like crap. I feel tired, useless and and that I am letting my family down.

The kids, bless them, don't seem to mind how lacking in energy, and patience I am. They ask me if I am ok and give me hugs.

What is going on? Well those with large families, or who know us well, the first thought is 'Clare's pregnant again'

You would be correct. This pregnancy is very planned and wanted. It is also kicking my arse. I feel like I am on the verge of throwing up all day and all night. It doesn't matter what I eat or drink, the feeling never goes away, and believe me, this is being pregnancy number 8 I really have tried everything over the years. I just have to ride it out, and wait until everything settles down.

I feel tired all the time. This is what is hardest on everyone. While normally I am pretty lazy, I at least can get things done, and will go on rampages washing, cleaning etc.
Not now. Not when pregnant. But, when you already have a few kids, there is no choice but to get things done. There is no help like when you were pregnant with your first or second. People lose interest after a few kids, and their lives get busy too.
Kids need feeding, clean clothes, driven around to swimming, sports, activities etc. There is no stopping.

At the moment we have library every Thursday morning, swimming and basket ball training on Wednesdays, Basket ball training on Thursdays, home school group every second Friday, then swimming lessons on Saturday along with 4 kids playing basketball on Saturdays too.

So, I just suck it up, and do what I can when I can. Waiting for the magic time when I realise it's been a few days since I last felt sick. Bring it on.

Bubs is still feeding too which is adding to the tiredness too. She is 17 months now and while I am a big advocate of child led weaning, to be honest I would welcome her slowing down right now. While I am being honest I am also hoping to not tandem feed again. It is probably the hardest thing I have done parenting wise. I know others have found it wonderful and life was able to carry on wonderfully while tandem feeding.
I am just not one of those women. My 3 year old weaned herself 2 weeks ago and it was VERY much welcomed. Feeding two munchkins while in early stages of pregnancy was bloody hard. I was relieved when she was ready.

This will be our last baby. The end of the line. Our little caboose.
I thought our last baby would be 'it'. To be honest I would tell people it was, but in my head would think 'maybe, not sure actually'
This time I know for sure. I adore babies, they are just lovely. So tiny and perfect and I could just stare at them for ages.
I love all ages actually, all with their ups and downs, laughter and challenges.
I am ready for our next stage of our life. Building our next house, the children spreading their wings as they get older and become more involved with activities and their futures.
Hub and I being able to go away for the night or weekend as the children grow. No little one who depends solely on me.

I always wondered what it felt, to be ready to move on. No more babies. I know I will feel a bit sad, and feel a tug at my heart whenever I see a baby. But this is our number. Lucky 7 who will join us around Christmas time-ish. A lovely way to end 2011.

Things I know

Playing along with Shae at Yay for Home!


~ Most people have no idea what homeschooling is.

~ The same 'most' people will tall you all the things wrong with home education and how they knew a friend once who had a neighbour and the child was homeschooled and went crazy one day and drove a car into a baby animal farm. (Yes, the stories are that crazy)

~ Most people will take YOUR decision to home educate YOUR children personally. One of the first responses I get is "But have you been to our school and checked it out, it's fantastic"
"That's nice, for YOU. We are happy how things are" Insert very big, cheesy smile.

~ 99% of the time the next questions is "Is it for religious reasons?" (This is especially true for me when they see my children, and nod their heads as they count to six

~ Most people will tell you (based on facts from their neighbours cousins postie) that only teachers are allowed to home educate their children. NOT TRUE! Anyone person can do it!
Just smile here, or if you are feeling really bold look around you, then back at the person and say "Ssshh we don't want the cops to be called on us"

~ Your eyes will glaze over upon being asked the million dollar question "What about Socialisation?"
You can answer this in so many fun ways. One mum I know said "That's ok, we're vaccinated for that"
Another fun way, which I like is to look at them with a serious face and ask "What do you mean" They usually go on about children needing to interact with other children and people, and learn how to 'be' in the real world.
You can then say "Well we go to the library, shopping, visit an elderly peoples home once a week, dancing, Basket Ball, Swimming, Scouts, visiting with grandparents and family every week, running their home ed group with other home ed children, going to camps, helping out with our family meal planning and budget, they also play in the local music band and take bread to local families every few weeks. Any of that Socialisation?"

~ People will try and quiz your child, more than likely right in front of you, some weird math or science question that they themselves more than likely don't know. This frustrates me soooo much. Do not try and make my child out to be an idiot, because more than likely you will not only fail, but he will make you look like the idiot you are.

~ Sometimes you just want to get away from the idiots. Smile politely and say you have to run. Then run!

~ Most people will tell you they would love to do that but........(insert several reasons from they work, to their kids drive them crazy enough in the holidays)
I do not care why, and I am not saying this in a mean or facetious way. I am truly just not phased what you do with your children. If they and you are happy then cool!
However, I will demand, and deserve, your respect back also, for how my family works.

~ Most people will assume you think you are better than them. Again not true, and don't care. Neither of you are better, you are simply travelling along a different path. Different strokes and all that.

~ At the end of the day we are all doing what we truly believe is right for our child/ren and family at the time. We all love our children, and it does no one any favours, in particular our children who are listening and watching us more than we realise, to be rude to people, either to their face or behind their backs.
How nice it would be to live in a world were we could just live and let live when it comes to the education of our kids.

What you may not know, or think is that important, after having a baby

Now I say after having a baby, because what I am going to talk to you about happens to us all regardless of how I babies are born.

Muscle separation. Also known as Diastasis Recti.


What are Separated Muscles?

During pregnancy, many women experience a separation of their stomach muscles. Known as diastasis recti, this condition occurs when the main abdominal muscles (called the rectus abdominus) begin to pull apart. The left and right sides of this muscle separate, leaving a gap in between. Separated muscles do not tear or rupture, so little pain is involved, at least initially. Instead, the muscles thin out, creating a space in the abdomen. This gap can get worse over time and may result in future health complications.
The important muscles are the Transverse Abdominus. These are the innermost/bottom layer of your abs and they run across your abdomen.

What Causes Separated Muscles?

The rectus abdominus is kept in line by your transverse abs (the girdle like muscles that help keep your stomach flat) and your oblique abs (the muscles around your sides). During pregnancy, your abdominal muscles are tend to separate due to the growth of your baby in your uterus. This growth exerts pressure on the rectus abdominus muscles, causing them to split. Women who experience rapid growth of their stomachs during pregnancy are more likely to suffer from separated abdominal muscles. Women with particularly weak abdominal muscles may also end up with a split between the left and right side of the rectus abdominus.


How Common are Separated Muscles?

Separated muscles are actually fairly common during pregnancy. About one-third of all pregnant women experience separated muscles at some point throughout their pregnancy. Separation of the stomach muscles is more likely to occur during the second trimester or third trimester of pregnancy. However, separation also frequently occurs during labor and delivery.

Symptoms of Separated Muscles

Separation of the abdominal muscles is typically painless but there are a few symptoms that will help you to identify the condition. These include:

•a gap or space just below your navel
•a bump or ridge running from your breastbone down to your navel


Complications Associated with Separated Muscles

If you are suffering from separated muscles during pregnancy or in the postpartum period, it is important to take steps to encourage your muscles to reattach. It is unlikely that these muscles will reattach on their own and they may actually continue to separate after you have given birth. If left untreated, separated muscles can cause health complications, including:

•Chronic lower back pain (due to the fact that the abdominal muscles help to support your back and spinal column)
•Altered posture due to weak abdominal muscles (which in turn weakens your back muscles, leading to back pain)


Checking for Separated Muscles

It is very easy to determine whether you have separated abdominal muscles.

•Lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor.
•Slowly raise your head and shoulders off the ground. This should cause your abdominal muscles to tighten.
•Place your index and middle fingers just below your belly button.
•Press into your abdomen with your fingers. You should feel a soft gap between two hard muscles.
•Measure the space of the gap using your fingers. If the gap is greater than two finger widths, you may be suffering from separated muscles.
Repeat but put your fingers just above your belly button.


Treating Separated Muscles

There are some easy ways to help treat separated muscles after you have given birth. Simple abdominal exercises can help to bring the left and right sides of your rectus abdominus back together. These abdominal exercises are designed to help target weak muscles and won’t cause extra stress to your stomach or back.


A lot of women make the mistake of thinking after having a baby, and when they feel ready that sit ups or crunches will be good. This is incorrect, and can actually make the separation more pronounced and make healing and bringing the muscles back together take longer. They can cause the transverse muscles to stay separated and not come together.

The exercises I have found the most gentle for when you are starting out is at Babyfit.com.

I am posting this today as a sort of follow up from my last post about being fitter and healthy after pregnancy and birth. As I mentioned the first 5 times I found it fairly easy. The 6th time I did not take as good care of myself as I should.

I wanted to bring to your attention about muscle separation because many women do not know about it, and some of those who do are given the wrong advice about what to do about them.

After my last baby I noticed my separation was bigger than after the other births. I also have poor posture and a lot of lower back pain. The lower back was a combination of carrying such large babies, movement in my pelvis, pregnancy and poor core strength.

Slowly I have worked on all of these and core strength has been very important, especially as I love to carry my babies on my back. I am pleased to be getting there.

So there you have it, some friendly info about stomach muscles, core strength and how to take care of yours.